Practicing dermatologist and 500-year-old vampire Count Igor Von Barfus has amassed a considerable following on social media for his groundbreaking skin care videos focusing on the hideous and deformed. Dr. Von Barfus posts educational videos on TikTok under the pseudonym SallowSkinnedDoc.

“Uggos need skin care too. Dermatology is so focused on getting clear, radiant skin. What about those of us who just want to walk around without accidentally turning mortals into stone?”

Dr. Von Barfus has made it a professional priority to cater to all different shades of skin, warts of all locations, and creatures of all species.

Gargoyle and Lord of Ulruth, Mr. Fangor Dreadstone, has struggled for years with his gray, leathery skin. His dermatologists, all beautiful young men and women, were unable to help with his unique skin. Luckily, after years of cycling through providers, he discovered SallowSkinnedDoc’s vlogs and has been a loyal fan ever since. 

“Not everyone wants to look beautiful,” he growled at us over Google Meet, the only streaming service used in Ulruth. “I appreciate a doctor making videos for repugnant medieval creatures like me and my subjects.”

Dr. Von Barfus also makes it a point to make content applicable for all socioeconomic classes. 

“Most people can’t afford to slurp down the blood of a baby goat at the full moon to keep them young,” he said, salivating. “As a physician, it is my responsibility to meet patients where they are.”

Wizened old hag and Wicked Witch of the South Bertha Rasmussen has suffered from one comically large wart on her nose for the last several centuries. 

“Dr. Von Barfus made me realize that the fumes from my cauldron were affecting my skin. Ever since I started using a skin barrier cream while broiling my potions, I’ve started noticing that my enormous wart has been shrinking. I’m so happy he’s looking out for us.”

The Count feels that while he has made major strides in dermatology, there is much work to be done. He is hoping to set up a clinic for the repulsive, revolting, and gruesome that would allow for the uggos to get individualized care. 

“I love my hags, trolls, gargoyles, and goblins. Everyone should get to feel comfortable in their own skin.”