After years of lobbying efforts, the National Board of Prescribing Stuff has decided to allow pediatricians to soothe the nerves of anxious parents with a low dose of clinic-administered Xanax. 

“Sometimes the best thing we can do for the kid is treat the parent,” said Dr. David Holder, pediatrician and member of the Treat Parental Anxiety movement. “A small dose of pharmaceutical reassurance can save everyone a lot of time.”

TPA members range from pediatricians to concerned parents. One of those parents spoke with us.

“There's a lot of stuff out there that makes it seem like I’m doing something wrong with how I’m raising my kid,” says Nelly Jones, mother and generally nervous wreck. “It makes me feel like I’m a bad mom. I would appreciate my pediatrician giving me the good stuff so I can throw on some Lil Uzi Vert and vibe.”

This new law doesn’t come without critics. One prominent organization who has spoken out against the measure is the American Academy of Pediatrics. 

“We are concerned about the effect on children when their parents are xannied, barred, or otherwise tranq’d out,” said one spokesperson. 

To address this concern, this new bill mandates that parents are limited to one low dose per month, with a 10 dose limit for the year. Additionally, practices must hold onto their car keys for the evening. 

A Family Medicine doctor who spoke with us couldn't stop laughing on the phone. 

“I’ve been doing this for years! Why do you think my patient surveys are so good? It’s a win win win win, baby!”

One local pediatrician who wished to remain anonymous feels that though there are risks, this is a good step forward. 

“Parental anxiety contributes to a lot of issues in healthcare today, from resource overutilization to physician burnout. Having this tool in our pocket is helpful but we must use it with caution.”

Now that this bill has passed, physicians and parents will be watching closely to see how it impacts the kids. The kids, meanwhile, will be watching their iPads and probably won’t notice anything has changed.